Monday, June 14, 2010
This is what my life "vehicle" feels like right now. I'm frustrated and overwhelmed. Having trouble getting my blog operating the way I want. Having a few creative blocks. And facing an absolute huge decision that will certainly change my whole life. Trying to count my blessings. Really I am. I just have so many questions. About everything.
What am I supposed to be doing? How am I supposed to do it? Am I honoring myself and my kids? Can I really make a difference? Should I really follow my "dreams"? Can Art really heal me? Do I really need to be healed?
I'm struggling to find my way back to the stillness of myself to find the answers to all my questions. And the pressure is on. I pray. ALOT! I cry. ALOT! I laugh. ALOT! It's infuriating to know I have the answers and I can't shut my head off long enough to hear them. I'm terrified. All this emotional chaos is not helping my creative efforts either. Really, I wish I was 2 for about 10 minutes so I could throw myself down on the floor and have a temper tantrum. Complete with throwing myself on the floor, kicking, and screaming. Honestly, if there's anyone else out there who has struggled like this please share your story. It would really help.