Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Artfest Woes

This post was inspired today by Sunny Carvalho asking me if I would be attending Artfest.  Be sure to stop by her blog.  She is an amazing artist and her Legions are mesmerizing.

I have avoided even thinking about Artfest for the last couple of months.  Last information I read about it was that the 2012 event would be the last.  This news sent me right over the edge.  Artfest has been a huge goal of mine since I started exploring the art world years ago.  Not only has it been a goal, but a dream.  The kind of dream like I had when I was a kid and could think of nothing I wanted more than to be an astronaut and just knew it would happen.  Cuz hey, when you're a kid everything is possible.  This was a dream in it's purest most innocent form.  I actually intended on going to Artfest twice.  First as a student and later on as a teacher.  And hello, that rug has been rudely yanked from under me.  I waited too long.  Made to many excuses.  Felt like I wasn't ready, or in this year's case, was just not financially able to pull it off.  Now please do not misunderstand my hurt.  It is not directed at Teesha Moore in any way shape or form.  She is following her heart, which is what we all must do.  I just didn't follow mine fast enough.  I actually called my mom on the phone and bawled like I was 7 years old and someone had just told me there was no Santa Claus.  (which there really is a Santa Claus by the way.)  Then I felt utterly stupid for being so upset about it.  I'm 35 years old, should not be so traumatizing.  Oh but it is.  Still.

Here comes the "what I've learned" part.  Don't wait.  If there is any way possible don't put off your goals and dreams.  I look at this now and dig deep for faith that someday I will find something else I want as much as I want Artfest, and I will make it happen.  That door will open somewhere along the way.  I believe that.  And I'm also a little proud of myself I can still get THAT excited about something and have that much desire and passion for art.  As childish as it may seem to the rest of the world, it feels damn good to me.  I'm not old yet!  Ha ha!

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