I will soak every ounce of beauty from every experience in to my very core. The good and the bad. To me, even the bad/hard/sad/... whatever you call it ... is in it's own way beautiful. It's life. It's a gift. I've learned to embrace it. Finally. Change my perceptions to live in the beauty of all things because even when it hurts, even when it's hard, it's still beautiful. I can live with that. I can sustain myself, as long as there is beauty. Another cancer trait.
About a week ago it dawned on me I'm almost 40. When did that happen? How did the years go so fast? How many do I have left? The questions started flooding about the same time my family had the experience I'm going to share with you.
We were doing are usual summer night routine. Charcoal lit on the grill, our family relaxing on the back patio laughing and talking about the day. Darren and I were having a beer. Just normal stuff for us. We spend a lot of time hanging out like that. Just enjoying each others company. The neighbors had arrived home with some friends and one of the younger boys ended up in our yard jumping on the trampoline. Now all five of us are kinda on edge at this point. Because we are a "wild" bunch. We don't attend church regularly, we have Harley's, we drink beer, we're loud, we laugh, I smoke ... I think you get the idea. Our neighbors are "good, upstanding, church going, salt of the earth people". Our yard it not the place for them. So the boy is finally realized missing and being called for and my son notices the two women obviously talking about us. And he's upset. We are being judged, again, right in front of our faces. He could not understand why Darren and I weren't upset.
So in my "birthday sentiment" I'm going to take today and oooze gratefulness. Oooze laughter. Oooze the knowledge of how much this family means to me. And oooze how much I love them and how much they love me. And I'll probably do it over a cold Bud Light, on my back patio, with those who love me and accept me just the way I am. Life is good! Bring on the next year, I intend to "fly" through this one! :)