Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Happy Birthday, I mean Mid Life Crisis, to Me
Happy Birthday, I mean Mid Life Crisis, to Me. I say this with the utmost sarcasm. Over the last few weeks I have joked that once my 35th birthday arrived, I could officially have a mid-life crisis. I guess you could call it that if you really need to define it for yourself. I call it something more like, finding that little girl who loved life again.
I tend to get VERY sentimental around my birthday. Reflecting on the previous years, how my life has changed, how much I have changed, and how much closer I am to reaching goals I've set for myself. And for the first time in YEARS I have been very excited for a birthday.
Looking at this picture, it's hard to believe that is really me. That there was a time I was so little and new. If you look closely, you may see the tape on my head covering the first of many wounds I would sport in this life. I came into this world wounded and no doubt will leave it the same way. But along with the wounds and scars the last 35 years have brought me, I have also found a great amount of love and healing. Especially in the last few.
Watering the garden a few days ago and Darren says to me, "wow, you must have played in the mud a lot when you were a kid." Well, yes I did. I was the Queen of the Mud Pie. And while so many of my childhood memories are much less than stellar, there are a few in there I'd like to hang on to. Like that one. Making mud pies just for the sake of playing in the mud. And I am pleased to announce that my life has come full circle, and I'm back to playing in the mud just for the sake of it.
So while it may be strange to most of you, that at 35 I've developed a huge crush on Nikki Sixx, an insatiable passion for motorcycles, unearthed my desire to be an artist, started wearing hats and bandanas, picked up a few new tattoos, am in love and live with a man everyone thought I should NOT be with, occasionally wear my boots with my capri jeans, watch Oddities with my kids every chance I get, and scream to the top of my lungs to Linkin Park driving in my car with my 13 year old son...it's not strange to me at all. It feels good! It feels like making mud pies. And living life...just because I can!!!