Sunday, June 15, 2014

Thoughts on Father's Day and My Mom

This is how I remember my Dad.

Not the best pic, but one of my favorites.  When I tell you my parents adored each other, they really did.

My Dad has been gone for almost 13 years now.  At the time of his death things were not so great in the family.  As the years have passed I've been shown that this was a blessing in disguise.  It saved my mother and I from a lot of potential chaos over the years.  I'm at peace with the way things were when he moved on.  I do miss him daily.  ALOT!  But as this Father's Day approached I realized my perspective on this day as changed.

It's sad to me that I no longer love holidays.  That most of them are filled with some kind of rememberence that yanks my heart right out of my chest.  That's part of life right?  We grow up, loved ones pass on, and we carry on.  The pain lingers.  Always.  We just find a way to endure.

While that still holds true for this Father's Day, I realize there are still those here to celebrate.  For me, today, it's my Mom.  Damn if I don't love that woman more the older I get!  Today I can't help but think of the years it was just she and I.  My mother didn't marry the man I called Dad until I was 11.  Before that there were a lot of years it was just the two of us and she carried the load of being both parents to me.  I will forever be grateful for being blessed with a mother that was tough enough to do just that in the most graceful way I have ever witnessed.

My mother ALWAYS worked her ass off and sacrificed so much to raise her girls.  I can't think of one time I ever went without anything I needed.  We were poor but it never felt like it.  I remember being about six and cruising in her big old caddy, singing to the top of our lungs to our favorite 8-tracks.   Even then my mom was my best friend.

So while this day is about Dad's, I choose to celebrate the woman who is still here.  The one who taught me how to bait a hook, fight when I need to fight, protect when I needed to protect, and hug when I needed to hug. Lord knows she played Dad for enough years she deserves a little Happy Father's Day of her own.  I love you Mom!  You are the best Mom and Dad I could have ever asked for.  :)

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